So here it is again. Springtime in the Sooner State, (Norman,
Oklahoma) when all those weird pinkish-purple trees start turning pinkish-purple
and thoughts turn to love.
Yeah, right. Maybe that's how it works for some people,
but probably not for as many as you'd think. For lots of us, the thoughts
aren't quite as subtle as that. Sure there might be an intellectual overlay
of moonlight and rosebuds to disguise the primal drives kicking into high
gear, but once you get past the romance?
People just wanna get laid.
Oh, feel free to mince words and dress the idea up
with a lot of Harlequin Romance verbiage if you like, but once you've peeled
away the surface layers of fluff, all that's left is a core of pure lust.
And even though these basic ideas apply during most of the year, in the
Springtime they kick into high gear. You can practically smell it on the
air. If you don't believe me, check it out for yourself. Go to the mall,
or the movies, or even a grocery store and you'll notice that the atmosphere
is slightly different than it usually is. Why? Because lots of people
are walking around with an itch that needs scratched, that's why. And most
people can sense it, even if they can't label it.
That's just how it works. Like it or not.
Personally, I get so worked up at this time of year
I can barely think straight. They say that your average man thinks about
sex eleven times a day, and maybe I fit that bill during most of the year.
But in the Springtime, my personal count drops from eleven to roughly one.
Because it's always there, and I can't do much to shoo the thought away.
And even if I do manage to distract myself temporarily, it's never for long.
Sad, isn't it? Maybe. But no sadder than what most
other guys are going through.
I guess the worst part of it is the fact that I know
there are plenty of women in this town feeling the same way as I do. Gals
who'd like a good itch-scratching, without a lot of goofy entaglements.
Single women who can't seem to find Mister Right, married women looking for
some discreet carnal exercise to relieve the boredom and burn-out they never
thought they'd feel, gals who consider themselves overweight or homely or otherwise
undesireable, even handicapped or disfigured women who have the same drives
and urges as everyone else.
And my question is this: Why are they over there,
while I'm over here?
Ridiculous, isn't it? Here I am, a white, 41-year-old,
fully functional guy in the year 2002, and even though I'm not male model
material, I'm not ugly either. So you'd think I could get me some whenever
I liked. And I guess I could, if I wanted to spend more time searching
and guessing and trying to read signals and playing all the other ridiculous
dating games. But that seems like such a lot of hassle to go through, just
to get something so basic. Especially when I know there must be women in
this town who want the same thing as I do.
If you're one of them, feel free to write to me at:
[email protected]
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